


The Will to Win

by junko



Series: the distance between us [7]
Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-16
Updated: 2012-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-02 00:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When things go badly back at the Sixth Division in Renji’s absence, Renji decides the smartest move is to attempt to seduce Gin Ichimaru (‘cuz that’s how Renji thinks.)  Things, shall we say, do not go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Will to Win

**Author's Note:**

> Keeping on with "The Distance Between Us," so the setting is shortly after Renji first becomes Byakuya's lieutenant.
> 
> WARNING: As usual with Renji, bad/strong language abounds.

 

_“It is fatal to enter a war without the will to win it."_

 

 

As Renji watched the lovely, curvaceous shape of Matsumoto disappear down the street, he had the uncomfortable sensation of being observed. He looked up. Glancing down at him over the railing of the double loggia was Byakuya Kuchiki. Their eyes met. The captain’s expression darkened into a frown. Renji held his breath, expecting a command or reprimand. Instead, Byakuya simply turned and walked out of sight.

 _I’m in trouble_ , Renji thought, his stomach clenching. He should never have left the Sixth, not for a second, and Matsumoto, so clearly flirting… Oh, this didn’t look good at all. With a frustrated growl, he stomped back into the barracks, determined to take out his irritation on someone. Spotting the Third Seat in the practice yard, Renji descended on him. “Oi, you! Why is the captain wandering around upstairs? Can’t you keep better control of this place?”

“I’m pretty sure the captain is allowed to go wherever he wants,” the young man stuttered. “This is his… family’s estate or whatever, isn’t it?”

Renji snarled, unable to adequately counter that argument, but still annoyed. “This is a disaster, is what it is! I can’t even leave this place for five minutes—“

“It was more like a half hour, sir.”

“Shut up! What we need right now is damage control. Please tell me he hasn’t come downstairs.”

“No, he hasn’t. I’m sure of that.”

“Well, that’s something,” Renji said, taking in a calming breath. “No visitors right? I told you to keep the Eighth division at bay if their captain came sniffing around again, didn’t I?”

“Uh…”

Renji did not like the way the young man suddenly backed up a step and looked around nervously. “Oh, no,” Renji sighed. “No, no, no. Please tell me you didn’t let Kyōraku back in here.”

“No, you were really clear about that, sir. Uh, but I didn’t really get the whole no visitors part.”

“Seriously?” Renji was ready to kick this kid in the butt. “Who did you let in?”

“Captain Ichimaru.”

_Oh, fuck._

The Third Seat continued, sounding panicky. “He seemed really concerned about the captain’s illness -- offered to bring up lunch for him and everything.”

To keep himself from pummeling some sense into the Third Seat, Renji buried his head in his hands. His voice was strained: “I said no lunch. I said no food unless the captain specifically asked for it. God damn it all. I am going to die,” Renji looked up at the quivering Third Seat and snarled, “And after he kills me, I will rise up and pound you into the ground, you understand me?”

The boy’s voice was no more than a frightened squeak. “Yes, sir.”

#

 

So now the question was: ignore the problem or face it head on? Renji had never been very good at retreat, so he steeled himself and headed up the stairs. After discovering the captain’s quarters empty, but for a cleaning crew of servants, Renji searched the rest of the grounds. He found Byakuya on a veranda overlooking a contemplative garden. The spring warmth teased green shoots from moist ground, and a few deep blue irises were already in bloom. Water gurgled over a rock waterfall and birds called softly.

Though it was late afternoon, Byakuya was still not dressed. He sported only the silk robe he’d put on earlier. Apparently, however, something had prompted him to wear the kensiken. Renji found he didn’t like that addition; with his hair back and bound up in the formal jewelry Byakuya seemed much less approachable or forgiving.

Renji kept his distance, standing at the far edge of the garden, not wanting to intrude on this private space. “It’s my fault,” he said steadily, quietly. “Apparently, no one else is willing to rebuff a captain.”

Byakuya didn’t turn to look at him or otherwise acknowledge his presence. He continued to gaze out at the garden. His voice was controlled, though clipped. “Where were you, Renji?”

Renji was not ready to confess to having skived off for lunch with a beautiful woman, so he went with a half-truth. “I was checking in with the gossip mill.”

“Oh?” A bit of edge left Byakuya’s tone, but Renji could tell he was still far from out of trouble.

“Yeah, luckily, Matsumoto talked herself into a really nice story about why you’re sequestered today, sir. Who knows, it might even boost your reputation. She’s got you painted really tragic, very romantic.” Of course, Renji left out the part where he and Mastumoto also discussed the possible sex toys and bondage gear Byakuya might have in his possession. Instead, Renji added sincerely, “But, if I'd known Ichimaru was coming this way, I _swear_ I would never have left you unguarded.”

“Very well,” Byakuya said.

It was clearly a dismissal, and it was probably the best Renji could hope for in terms of forgiveness. Still, he lingered at the garden’s edge. Neither of them spoke for a long time.

Renji found himself wondering what Ichimaru might have talked to Byakuya about. After all, he had run into Gin in a state of undress last night. On top of that, he’d had a raging hard on after the stolen kiss in Byakuya’s office, and it was pretty clear that Gin had twigged to that fact. But, there was no way Gin would bring up something so crude to Byakuya, was there?

Problem was, you never knew with Ichimaru. Renji figured it would all depend on how much trouble it would cause….

Man, he was fucked.

“Lieutenant,” Byakuya’s voice cut through Renji’s thoughts, as did the sudden sharpening of reistsu. “You are dismissed.”

Renji snapped to attention, and gave a stiff bow, “Sir.”

#

 

Renji left the garden wondering if suicide was honorable in this situation. It might be, but it probably wasn’t practical, especially considering how miserably the division had failed at repelling intruders.

If he couldn’t kill himself, he was going to hurt some other people instead. There were going to be a lot of drills this afternoon. He was going to make certain that if he still had this job tomorrow, someone besides himself had a backbone strong enough to protect the captain from a scrawny weasel like Ichimaru.

#

 

It distressed Renji more than he wanted to admit that the captain never made another appearance throughout the day. He must be really angry. In some ways, Renji wished that Byakuya was more like Kenpachi. At least at the Eleventh, if you screwed up, you took your beating and that was the end of it. Here, there was no way of knowing what was going on in Byakuya’s head or when the hell the other shoe would drop.

Or how hard.

As the sun finally set, what Renji really wanted to do was hunt down Ichimaru and confront him. It was driving him insane not having a clue about what had passed between the two captains. But, that was the problem, wasn’t it? Ichimaru wasn’t a lieutenant any more, he was a captain. It wasn’t like they were friends, either. Renji couldn’t just wander up and ask Gin to very nicely tell him all about it.

But, there had to be some way.

Torture was probably illegal, unless Mayuri got involved.

 _Maybe_ , given what Renji had learned from Matsumoto this afternoon, perhaps there was a chance of offering something in return for information. If it was true that Gin was _nanshoku_ , perhaps Renji could seduce him.

That was probably stupid and more than a little reckless. Still…

 

#

 

The moon was high in the night sky when Renji found himself outside of the Third Division with a half-empty bottle of sake… okay, it was closer to _entirely_ empty. He’d originally intended to offer to share drink with Ichimaru, but found he’d needed more than his share of liquid courage to even get this far.

He pounded his fist on the door. “Oi, open up, I’ve got business with the captain.”

To Renji’s surprise, it was his old friend Izuru Kira who greeted him. Kira’s sharp, elfin features were pulled into a very distressed and worried expression. Kira had clearly come from bed, as he wore a simple dressing gown and no sandals. His hair, however, was miraculously exactly as always, coifed into a perfectly sharp point over his eye. “What the heck are you doing here in the middle of the night, Renji?” Then with a wave of a hand in front of his nose, Kira added, “Oh! And how drunk are you?”

“Not nearly enough,” Renji admitted sadly, showing off the mostly empty bottle. “You don’t happen to have another one of these, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” Kira said. “Seriously, why are you here?”

Renji pulled Kira closer, and put his hands on Kira’s narrow shoulders. Using his superior size, Renji forced them in over the threshold a step or two. “Listen,” he said in a stage whisper into Kira’s ear. “I need to sleep with your captain. You can make that happen, right?”

“Uh, that is so not a good idea,” Kira said, pushing Renji’s chest until they stumbled back out into the street.

“No, no, no, you don’t understand. This is really important.” Putting an arm around Kira’s shoulder, he added with a grunt, “Though I can’t entirely remember why anymore. I just know I have to do this. I have to.”

“Okay,” Kira said, closing the door behind them. “Is Gin expecting you? Because, if he’s not, this not going to go the way you’re… hoping,” Kira said very seriously. Renji’s arm still slung around his shoulder, Kira directed them out into the street. “Although, Renji, I think you must have gotten hit on the head harder than usual or something – because this isn’t the tree you usually bark up.”

“Hey, no more dog jokes, okay? I’m sick of that crap,” Renji slurred. “And anyway, I like all sorts of trees. Who says I wouldn’t like Gin’s? He’s pretty enough, I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re really convincing with the ‘I guess.’”

Renji stopped. “Whoa, wait a minute. We’re going in the wrong direction,” he noted, sloppily pointing back at the Third Division barrack’s door. “The tree I’m looking for is back there.”

'“There’s not going to be any trees tonight, Renji.”

“Why not?”

“Because Gin already has a lover, a steady one. There’s no room for you in their bed.”

Renji frowned. He hadn’t considered this possibly. “Are you sure? Because I can share.”

“Well,” Kira said quietly, nudging Renji’s arm over his shoulder once again. “I can’t.”

“Oh? Oh...!” Renji said, looking down at his friend. Well, that wasn’t entirely a surprise, a more delicate man it was hard to imagine than Izuru Kira. “Holy shit, man, you’re sleeping with your captain!”

“I thought you were, too.”

“What?!” Renji managed to sound outraged, until realization hit him. “Oh, yeah, damn it, that’s why I’m here. You’ve got to help me out, Kira. I’m in some serious shit with Byakuya, and it’s all your captain’s fault. I have got to find out what they talked about.”

“They talked about you.”

“Wait, you know! Huh…. So can I seduce you?”

“I’m really flattered considering how wasted you are, Renji, but, no, that’s not necessary. Why don’t you let me take you somewhere and I’ll tell you everything.”

 

#

“Oh, hey, we can’t go back to my quarters,” Renji said dejectedly, as the two of them stumbled through the streets of the Seireitei. “I’m under strict orders not to bring any of my ‘filth’ back there. I’m not sure you qualify though, but I think, really, he meant any lovers, dirty or otherwise.”

“Well, it’s fine then, because I’m not going to become your lover.”

“I thought I was seducing you.”

“No, Renji, we’re just going to talk, remember?”

“Right,” Renji said.

 

#

 

Renji sprawled on his bed where Kira had dumped him. Kira now perched primly on the only other furniture in the small room, a chest of drawers. A corner light illuminated the room. From the kitchens, Kira had managed to procure a pot of tea and a pitcher of cold, cool water, which he set in the space between them on the floor.

Kira poured Renji a bowl of each. He was shaking his head, and he carefully placed the water into Renji’s unsteady hands. “You’re one of those guys, aren’t you?” Kira asked.

“What kind of guy?”

“You fall into men’s beds when you’re drunk, but prefer women when you’re sober.”

Renji frowned, certain he’d just been insulted in some unfathomable way. “For the record,” he said. “I was the sober one last night.”

“Sure you were,” Kira said, sounding unconvinced. “And, so, what exactly happened last night?”

“Way too much…” he said remembering the whole Ikkaku and Yumichika affair. “And... not nearly enough,” he added, thinking about Byakuya. He slammed back the water, and reached for the tea. “You and…” it was still too awkward for Renji to actually mention his friend’s lover by name, especially since it apparently was Gin Ichimaru. “Uh, that is… you’ve been at this a long time, right? Why would a guy not go all the way?”

Kira raised a thin, blond eyebrow and studied Renji for a moment. Then, with a shrug and a soft sigh, he said, “There’re lots of reasons.”

“So what are they?”

Kira gave his friend a side-long, measuring look. “Are you _sure_ he was into you? That you  both felt the same way?”

Renji scratched the back of his neck considering the question and trying to decide how much of the events of last night he really wanted to reveal. “I don’t know. I mean it seemed like it, at first. But then, you know, just as we’re getting to the main event, he… quits. Something about it not being honorable and,” Renji tried to cover the next words with a cough, “me being all virginal.”

“Wait, what? You’re a virgin?”

“No! I mean, not… well, I guess. Look, I’ve just never been on the receiving end… aw, just shut up,” Renji could feel himself blushing. He flopped back onto the mattress and put a pillow over his head. “Why is everyone so fucking surprised by that, anyway?”

“Because virgin is just not a word I would ever associate with you,” Kira said laughing. “I really didn’t think there was anything you hadn’t tried.”

Renji knew he’d been insulted this time, but that wasn’t what bothered him. From under the pillow, he muttered, “You know, that’s the real crazy shit. I was totally up for it. He’s the one that changed his mind, even though… you’d think, drunk, he’d just go for it. Fucking honor. What the hell was that even about?”

Kira said nothing for a long moment, then, Renji felt a gentle hand on his thigh. “I’m sorry,” Kira said sympathetically. “It sounds... complicated for you two.”

“Fuck yeah, about as complicated as it gets,” Renji said, sitting up. He tossed the pillow to the far side of the futon and swung his feet over the edge to face Kira again. “That’s why the last thing I need is for your, uh, captain to go sticking his nose into my business. What hell did he say to Byakuya today, anyway?”

“Oh, well, about that…” Kira’s brief smile evaporated. “I’m sure he meant no harm.”

Renji wasn’t nearly so convinced. “Uh-huh.”

“Thing is, well, he saw the state you were in last night, and then along came Byakuya saying he was ‘in need’ of you. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together…. Apparently, though, uh--” Kira made a little hissing sound of awkwardness. “Byakuya really hadn’t.”

“But now he has?”

“Uh, I think so, yes.”

Renji felt sick.

Kira patted his leg again. “But it sounds like nothing happened… so everything is all right, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not all right,” Renji snarled. “Plenty happened.”

“But, he was drunk—“

“This is Byakuya Kuchiki we’re talking about, remember?” Renji snapped. “You think ‘I was drunk’ is going to be okay with him? Especially since I was not, and I’m the one who kissed first.”

“Oh.” Kira studied his hands for a moment, and then gave Renji a concerned look. “Is that what happened to your lip? I mean, did he… say no.”

So... Kira thought Renji was the aggressor to the point that Byakuya had to fight him off? Please! Considering the position he’d found himself in last night, he couldn’t help but shout, “I’m the virgin, remember?!”

Kira’s face paled, and he got up and shut the door. “You might want to say that a little quieter.”

As if he could get into any more trouble than he already was, Renji snorted. “He had me with my ass in the air and my hands behind my back. You really think I was in control of that situation? You really think I was the one pushing things too far?”

Kira leaned against the doorframe. “So… you wanted to say no.”

“No, I’m telling you, there was no ‘no,’ until he just quit.” Renji waved off the direction the conversation was headed. “I’d decided it would be… okay, since it was him. There was some talk of punishment, but… that was honestly sort of turning me on.”

“Ah,” Kira nodded as if that explained everything. “Okay. So at what point did your lip get split?”

“Early. He bit me. It was part of a kiss gone bad -- or good, depending. I thought it was good, anyway.”

“Oh.”

Renji frowned at the tea on the table, wishing it was something a lot more alcoholic. He drank it to the dregs, anyway. “Why were we talking about this?”

“I think you’re going to be okay,” Kira said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His head bowed and eyes hooded, he continued. “If Byakuya stopped because… of what you said, then he was sober enough that he didn’t want to—he wanted it to be better for you, the first time. That’s a good sign.”

“Is it?”

“Sure. It means he cares about you, about how things go, you know, that way.”

Renji sighed heavily. “Except, he seems to think I was going to go get schooling somewhere else and come back to him.”

“And you can’t do that?”

“What do you think?”

“I think two tops should never try to be together.”

“Amen to that.”


End file.
